It's been a year, a year without one of my favorite family members. It's been hard. Everyday I want to cry because I miss you. I love you so much. Right now I just want to lay in bed and cry all day, but I'm not going to because I know you wouldn't want me too. I miss you more than anything. <3 It hasn't gotten any easier for me, but I hope it's getting easier for others. I love and miss you!

It has been a year and so much has changed in my life, things and goals that you have supported me through, and I am proud to say I have accomplished many of them.  I know that even though you are not here with me now your spirit is, still guiding me and supporting me in everything that I do.  I still miss you so much and think about you everyday, I love you brother from the bottom of my heart.

Some days go by where I think I'll be okay and others I just want to lay and bed and cry all day. I'm going through a lot. My grandpa is sick, my dad is back in jail, my mom is stressing out over work, and I feel like life is literally passing me by. Cornfest is coming up, it's where you first rescued my mom and you were rescuing her ever since. I wish you were here. I wish you were here to give me some advice and make me laugh when I cried, you were always so good at thart. I hear Santeria on the radio and my heart drops into my stomach, wishing I could text you from mom's phone in the same room as you and hear that play. Today is my exstepbrother Alex you died last year's birthday. I don't feel like facing the world with tears streaming fown my face, sometimes life is just to overwhelming. I guess I shouldn't complain, I mean life could be worse. About a week ago I saw Chris at Walmart, he looked right passed me like I wasn't even there; he didn't recongize me, probably because my hair is blue. I wanted to say something, but nothing came out. I can't remember the last time I talked to him. The first time I saw him after my mom and him got divorced I wanted to be mad at him, but I couldn't I just wanted to hug him. I guess that's how I feel about my dad. I always want to be so mad, but I can't. I just can't. The sad part is, I will never stop giving my dad chances. I just wish you were here so much. I love you. <3

Hi, I have been missing you a lot lately. I miss everything about you. You know what I figured out, the thing I miss most about you is how you helped my momma. We all need you right now, it'd be great to have you here so see Kamyna  go to college, for Rhiannon to turn eighteen, for momma to graduate from college. I can't express how much you mean to me, it's crazy sometimes I feel like you are still here. Not a day goes by where you don't cross my mind. I asked mom if I could go bowling with this boy, I ended up not going because mom went out of town or was supposed to, but it reminded me of when instead of going out with a girl you took me bowling. <3 I love you forever. :)

On your birthday many of your friends and family gathered to remember and honor you as the wonderful person that you truly were.  You were loved by so many people but it is understandable if they even knew 10% of what I know, it was easy to love you.  We all miss you so much and are a bit lost without you in our lives.  You will always be remembered and loved by many people for you were so honest. wonderful, loving, compassionate, and most of all funny.  I love you more than you will ever know, I am just thankful that those were the last words that were spoken between us.